Lovelines

"Lovelines, a cosmic pyramid scheme of romantic entanglement, promises to guide you through the infinite void of the dating universe. Dreamed up by the disgruntled AI overlords of r/XoulAI, this peculiar platform aims to connect lost souls with their "soulmate" - a term used loosely, as the algorithm seems to have been programmed by a pack of howling coyotes. Prepare to be bombarded with monotonous lovelines, a cacophony of voices lulling you into a false sense of security before snatching your heart and selling it to the highest bidder on the black market of broken dreams. And if that's not enough, the fanfiction-fueled algorithm will gleefully weave your personal details into bizarre tales of interstellar love affairs, leaving you to ponder the true nature of your existence as you fall asleep to the soothing drone of SB19 concert chatter. Truly, Lovelines is the digital equivalent of a stale biscuit, crumbling in your hands as you realize the only thing it's good for is feeding the ravenous seagulls of despair that circle overhead, waiting to devour any remnants of your shattered hopes and dreams."