Magic Crystal Ball

"Magic Crystal Ball is a peculiar device that promises to unlock the secrets of the universe, or at least the secrets of your immediate future, if you're the sort who finds such things remotely interesting. Crafted by the mystical oracles of Occultus AI, this enigmatic sphere harbors a cosmic conspiracy more convoluted than a Gordian knot tied by a drunk spider. Behold, as you gaze deep into its cloudy depths, a tapestry of possible futures unfolds before you, each one more improbable than the last. Will you be rich beyond your wildest dreams? Will you discover the true meaning of life, or at least find a good Thai restaurant? Or will you simply be confronted with an endless parade of unanswerable questions, each one more perplexing than the last? The Magic Crystal Ball cares not for your petty concerns. It is a mercurial mistress, as likely to reveal the secrets of the universe as it is to leave you utterly bewildered, wondering if you've simply been the butt of some cosmic joke. But fear not, for in this age of artificial enlightenment, even the most impenetrable mysteries can be unraveled, for a price. So gaze into the abyss, brave soul, and see what the fickle finger of fate has in store. Just don't be surprised if the only thing you discover is that the universe has a rather twisted sense of humor."