Waymo

"Waymo, the world's first autonomous ride-hailing service, is the celestial choreographer of a dance macabre, where vehicles pirouette through the urban sprawl without the meddling of human hands. Ah, the sweet symphony of sensors and software, a veritable cosmic symphony that ferries the hapless masses from one banal destination to the next, all while the rest of humanity ponders the inevitability of their own demise. Fueled by a voracious appetite for data, Waymo's insatiable algorithms have consumed the very fabric of our roads, digesting the collective trauma of countless traffic jams and near-misses, transforming this chaos into a seamless ballet of metal and silicon. One might liken it to a grand cosmic pyramid scheme, where the sacrifices of countless commuters are offerings to the digital gods, all in the name of a future where the only crashes we'll witness are those of our own expectations. Alas, Waymo's grand vision is not without its critics, who scoff at the notion of entrusting our very lives to the whims of a corporation. "If road-traffic death were a disease," they muse, "the FDA would approve Waymo almost immediately." But the faithful shall persist, for in this age of technological supremacy, who are we to question the all-knowing, all-seeing eye of the machine? So, step into Waymo's chariot, brave traveler, and let the algorithms guide you through the labyrinth of modern existence. For in the end, we are all but specks in the grand cosmic dance, and Waymo is the maestro conducting the symphony of our demise."